FORTUNE TELLERS

A man hired a lawyer when he got sued by his company for embezzlement of many millions. At the beginning of the process, the lawyer kindly reassured him: "Don’t worry, you’ll never go to jail with that amount of money.“

And the lawyer was right. When the man did go to jail eventually, he didn’t have a penny anymore.

Two men are discussing their lives. 
One says, "I’m getting married. I’m sick of a messy apartment, dirty dishes, and no clothes to wear." 
The other one says, "Hey, I’m getting divorced for the same reasons."

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