Funny DAD Jokes

  1. Why does a chicken coop only have two doors? Because if it had four doors it would be a chicken sedan.
  2. Why don’t seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they’d be bay-gulls!
  3. “Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was a salted.”
  4. What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.
  5. How do you make a hankie dance? Put a little boogie in it.
  6. Where does batman go to the bathroom? The batroom.
  7. What’s the difference between an African elephant and an Indian elephant? About 5000 miles
  8. I’m on a seafood diet… I see food and I eat it.
  9. A man walks into a bar and orders helicopter flavor chips. The barman replies “sorry mate we only do plain”
  10. : Commissar! Commissar! The troops are revolting! Commissar: Well, you’re pretty repulsive yourself.

  1. What do you call a sheep with no legs? A cloud.
  2. I knew I shouldn’t have ate that seafood. Because now I’m feeling a little… Eel
  3. What did the 0 say to the 8? Nice belt.
  4. Why are skeletons so calm? Because nothing gets under their skin.
  5. Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating? Because they have nobody to go with.
  6. Why do scuba divers fall backwards into the water? Because if they fell forwards they’d still be in the boat.
  7. Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.
  8. What kind of magic do cows believe in? MOODOO.
  9. Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.
  10. “Hold on, I have something in my shoe”  “I’m pretty sure it’s a foot”
  11. Dad I’m hungry … “Hi hungry” I’m dad
  12. When phone ringing Dad says ‘If it’s for me don’t answer it.
  13. “I asked my dad for his best dad joke and he said, ‘You.’”
  14. Where’s the bin? Dad: I haven’t been anywhere!